Hunny Bun
by KcAnne
Summary: So I plan to have Mulan fall in love with a hun. Sometimes that plot doesn't always listen to me when I start writing, so we'll see how it goes.
1. Chapter 1

"Excuse me, where do I sign in?" asked a voice. " Hah!" it continued, " I see you have a sword. I have one too." The speaker attempted to draw the weapon from its sheath. "They're very manly and tough," the soldier babbled, clumsily losing the grip as a one sided battle against gravity ensued.

Khan erupted into loud whinnying and rolled over after watching his mistress's attempts at practicing (and failing) her impersonation of a man. His laughter was cut short by the impact of Mulan's slipper.

"I'm working on it!" she exclaimed stamping her shoed foot indignantly. Mulan sighed as she replaced the footwear. "Who am I fooling?" the girl muttered sadly. "It's going to take a miracle to get me into the army."

Suddenly flames erupted against a large boulder. "DID I HEAR SOMEONE ASK FOR A MIRACLE?!" came a thundering roar. "LET ME HEAR YOU SAY AYE!"

"AHHH!" Mulan screamed and dashed behind a rock with Khan close behind.

"THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH!" the apparition bellowed.

"A ghost" she breathed as she peaked her head out from the hiding place. Even at the risk of celestial threat, nothing could cage Mulan's curiosity.

"GET READY, MULAN, YOUR SERPENTINE SALVATION IS AT HAND. FOR I HAVE BEEN SENT BY YOUR ANCESTORS—" the boisterous basilisk paused to kick another ghostly figure down who came into view. This spirit appeared to be making… shadow puppets? Mulan didn't have time to ponder its significance before the speech resumed: "HEED MY WORD, 'CAUSE IF THE ARMY FINDS OUT THAT YOU'RE A GIRL, THE PENALTY IS DEATH."

The pause in the spirit's sermon gave Mulan's curiosity enough time to intensify. She began to make her way over to this supposed savior. "Who are you?"

"Who am I? WHO AM I? I AM THE GUARDIAN OF LOST SOULS! I AM THE POWERFUL, THE PLEASURABLE, THE INDESTRUCTIBLE—" The rant was again interrupted. Khan had apprehensively trailed behind his bold owner in her expedition. Now that he saw his terror's source was a lizard, he took it upon himself to trample this disrupter of the peace.

Mulan apologized. Awkward introductions followed, dishonors were bestowed, and the girl and her horse were updated on the situation at hand. Mulan soon found out that her alleged guardian's name was Mushu. Her guardian found out that Mulan really sucked at being a boy.

"Wow, that was really convincing."

Mulan smiled,"Really?"

"Yeah, if you keep that act up, the army will be CONVINCED that you're a girl. Tell me honestly, are you trying to get caught? 'Cause every time you open that mouth all I hear is 'death sentence'."

"Thanks for breaking it to me gently…"

"Hey, that's what I'm here for. Okay, so your voice is an obvious lost cause. Hmmm, maybe this is a blessing I disguise, HA! See what I did there? Cause you're in disguise… but you're not really a blessing considering how you dishonored your family and all… anyway, now people won't ask you questions if they think you can't talk, so you're gonna have to pretend that you're all mute-like. We can work on your walk on the way to camp."

"What's wrong with my walk?"

"What's WRONG is that no self respecting man struts around and does that swivel thing with his hips. Just another DEAD giveaway—oh sorry!"

As Mulan made her way to the camp Mushu continued to lower her confidence and make other allusions to her execution upon discovery.

"Oh shut up cricky! Keep it up and I'ma break out the bug spray! Mhhm, didn't think so—see that! I little threat of extermination—whoops! Don't sweat it girl, I wasn't talking about you!"

"…I wasn't sweating it."

"That's the spirit! Don't take my words as some foreshadowing of your ultimate demise!"

"Okay..." Mulan replied weakly.

* * *

_I wrote 5 chapters, but I hit a block. Should I just post them and keep going? Would anyone be totally disgusted with my very being if I ended up changing chapters after I posted them?_


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, this is it. Time to show 'em your man walk. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up—" Mushu pulled at Mulan's top knot from his perch, "and strut 2, 3! Break it down, 2, 3! And work it!"

Strangely enough, the little dragon's plan worked… if by worked one means that no man who witnessed her bizarre gait ever thought Mulan was a girl. They just assumed that the army had become so desperate that they now relied on manpower from sanatoriums. This theory was later verified by the camp-wide fight that followed.

In retrospect, having punched a man, then continuing to provoke him by slapping his rear was not the best way to bond. Yao, the target of Mulan and her misunderstandings towards male behavior (due to the cultural gender barrier and Mushu's advice), blew a gasket and swung at the soldier (he later claimed that she had verbally insulted him, though it was never officially proven to be true). Mulan ducked, letting a bystander named Ling take the blow. More and more men were dragged into the fight, until every recruit was a participant of the all out brawl.

To make things worse, the newly promoted captain's first impression of these men would forever scar his memory banks. They had decimated the camp and the general had ditched him. Infuriated, the commander broke up the fight and immediately the blame was placed on Mulan.

"What's your name, soldier?" barked Captain Li Shang.

Mulan looked up fearfully and opened her mouth to explain, but Mushu's whispered threats of biting and second degree burns kept her silent.

"Your commanding officer just asked you a question!" squawked a man in official looking clothes.

Knowing that she must respond before Captain Li snapped (her neck), she tried to replicate a gesture that conveyed speechlessness. She grabbed her throat, stuck out her tongue, and pleaded with her eyes that he would understand.

Apparently he did because he sighed in frustration and demanded to see her conscription notice. He hoped the document might shed some light onto the silent offender's identity and perhaps an explanation. Upon reading it, his eyes widened in astonishment, "YOU are the son of Fa Zhou—THE Fa Zhou?"

The official looking man, Chi Fu, chimed in again. "I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son," he said suspiciously.

Mulan shrugged.

"I'm going to need a first name from you," Captain Li said slowly. "Can you write?"

The little soldier bobbed her head up and down a bit too enthusiastically, then dropped to the ground to draw her name in the dirt. She started to form her own name, then remembered her pretext and froze. Mushu began whispering "quiet" suggestions, "How 'bout Ling?"

"No, his name is Ling," Mulan hissed.

Captain Li stared at the new recruit. He seemed to be having an argument with himself, and for someone who couldn't talk, the Fa soldier made a remarkable about of noise. "Well?" Shang snapped impatiently.

"Ping! Ping was my best friend growing up… of course Ping did steal my girlfriend—" Mulan swung her arm around her neck and silenced the dragon. When she had successfully choked him out of anymore suggestions, Mulan drew the character for her new name.

"Ping?"

Mulan nodded.

"Poor Fa Zhou. If I had a son like that, I'd keep quiet about him too," Chi Fu mumbled to Shang. But the captain wasn't listening, he had moved on to his next course of action: punishment.

He ordered that the entire camp be restored, meaning, all of the soldiers spent the night picking up every single grain of rice. Needless to say, this did not boost Mulan's popularity. "We've got to work on your people skills," Mushu whispered to his charge.


	3. Chapter 3

"All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty!"

Mulan bolted up out of bed, but before she could release the blood curdling scream threatening to escape her parted lips, Mushu shoved a giant spoon laden with some sort of porridge down her throat. The girl blinked around in confusion while her dragon scurried all over the tent while talking a thousand miles per hour. The sleepy soldier only caught bits and pieces from the stream of words: "First day! Remember to… then you have to kick the other kid's butt."

Mulan looked at her lucky cricket for help, but all her could offer her was a sympathetic shrug. "Now let's see your war face!" She stared at Mushu, mouth still stuffed with breakfast, unblinking. Her dragon started to make some quip about bunny slippers running for cover when Khan burst his head through the tent flap agitatedly neighing.

"What do you mean the troops just left?" Mushu argued with the horse.

This was the first statement of the morning Mulan was able to comprehend. She promptly kicked her companions out (literally), then within seconds rolled out of the tent herself fully clothed and ran to meet the rest of the men.

…

It took Mulan about ten minutes of running to get to the center of camp. She had pitched her tent far away from the others so she would have more privacy, hence, a lesser chance of her secret being revealed. It wasn't at all due to the fact, she told herself, that she had been ostracized by the men. No, it was purely her own personal choices that kept her isolated.

As she took a minute to catch her breath, the soldiers heckling the army cook turned their attention to her.

"Looks like our new friend slept in this morning. Helooo Ping, are you hungry?" taunted Ling.

"Yeah, 'cause I owe you a knuckle sandwich," Yao growled. He grabbed Mulan by her collar and drew back his fist while Mulan covered her face with her hands. Before Yao could pay back his sandwich, a loud voice boomed, "SOLDIERS!"

Yao dropped his victim and jumped in line with the other men. Mulan jumped up and tried to stand tall like the rest of the men.

"You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning," Captain Li instructed as he paced down the ranks.

Mulan's vision was cut off by the bulking figures of the men with her, so she leaned out of line to get a better view of her commander, and what a view. She had seen men back home shirtless, but they didn't even compare. Captain Li Shang was BUILT. It took all of Mulan's willpower to keep herself from blushing, or sighing, or offering to bear this masterpiece's children.

Yao kept making cracks about their captain, but Mulan didn't hear him. She was too busy drinking in those abs. Whatever Captain Li was lacking personality wise, his body made up for. Mulan only snapped back into focus when he drew an arrow and pointed it in her direction. She and every other man, except for Yao, immediately took a step back.

"Yao." The captain turned his aim towards the sky and shot the arrow at a pole in the very center of the camp. Now that he was sure that he had the soldiers' attention he continued. "Thank you for volunteering," Captain Li drawled, his voice dripping with mock sincerity. "Retrieve the arrow."

The short and burly man reciprocated with a sarcastic bow and and growled that he'd get the arrow-with his shirt on. Mulan felt like she missed something. Yao crouched before the large pole prepared to pounce, but the Captain interrupted, "One moment. You seem to be missing something."

Chifu came forward with two large disks. Shang held one up high along with Yao's short arm informing the camp that, "this represents discipline." He let the weight drop, taking the impudent soldier down with it. But Captain Li wasn't finished. He grabbed Yao's free arm and proclaiming that the other weight represented strength, he let his subordinate struggle under the burden of the plates and the laughter of his comrades. Mulan bit her lip and glanced at Chien Po and Ling wondering how they could find amusement in their friend's misfortune.

Considering the load Yao had been piled with, he made it a respectable distance off the ground. Unfortunately, that distance was no where near the arrow, and before long, the weight pulled him down the poll. No one else did much better, and Mulan did much worse.

The rest of the day was dedicated to introducing the drills for the following weeks. Between the men's pranks and Mushu's attempts at assistance, Mulan was branded as a trouble maker. She nor anyone else improved much during those first few weeks; Captain Li ran them all too hard, and moral was all too low.

* * *

_Hey, sorry about taking so long with the updates. I just got back from camp today, so I thought I'd put up two chapters. I'm having troubles coming up with Hun names, if you have any suggestions, please comment! _


	4. Chapter 4

Captain Li Shang was not a bad person. Or, at least he had been an acceptable member of the human race. Then he met Ping.

Among the worthless recruits, this particular soldier stood above them all in complete incompetence. He was the son of a great warrior, but had inherited none of his father's abilities. He was weak, looked like a girl, and had a stupid name. And he brought out the sadist buried deep inside his captain.

Shang couldn't explain why he wanted to hurt the soldier so much—it just felt good. He scared himself sometimes. Afraid of potential consequences, Captain Li tried to send the bottom feeder home. What if his twisted smiles became noticed by Chi Fu? He could be reported for his sick pleasure and then his honor and position would be in question. And it didn't help that the weakling had grabbed the arrow.

It had been an unattainable exercise designed to crush the moral of soldiers. That's what the army did; it broke men then built them up five times stronger than before. Thanks to Ping, all the men had raised their spirits without their Captain. Things were not going according to Shang's plan.

All of his preparation and goals had been ruined by that runt. They were ahead of schedule mind you, but it wasn't Captain Li who put them there. The men had bonded with the underdog who had turned it all around. It made him seethe.

…

Life was finally looking up for Mulan. After weeks of being bullied and dragging everyone down in training, she had finally done something right with the arrow. Things still weren't perfect, Captain Li still bullied her, but compared to the torment she had endured from the entire company, facing the wrath of one man was an infinitely more bearable situation.

The only thing that truly frustrated the outspoken woman was her duty to be silent. Now that she was a man, didn't that gave her the right to talk?

"No. Nein. Never. Nuh-Uh. Nice try. The minute your open that Missy-Man mouth of yours, our secret will be blown."

"Come on Mushu!" Mulan pleaded, "if I have to go one more day without talking, I'm gonna die!"

"You know how else you can die? IMPALEMENT! You really don't think that Captain Pretty Boy won't hesitate to run you through?"

Mulan saw her guardian's point—if she had not redeemed herself earlier, he may have really wanted to hurt her. She understood that he had to be rougher with her than anyone else to prove to the men if she could make it through his hellish training, anyone could. The only difference between Mulan and the rest of the soldiers (besides the obvious), was that she gave herself no choice to back out. When she was sent home, disgracefully, in the middle of the night, any hopes of improvement disappeared.

Mushu tried cheering her up and telling her to look at the positive side. And seeing no dire consequences if she took this advice, Mulan obeyed. Looking back, she had become stronger since she first arrived. Her secret hadn't been uncovered. She was better at being soundless- she trained herself to silent scream whenever Ling dropped some bug down the back of her shirt. She had grown as a person too.

Before she came to the army, Mulan didn't care or appreciate her family as much as she did now. The village girls opinions mattered more to her than her family's. When she was little, all the boys payed attention to her because she liked to play rough too. All the girls shunned her. Mulan's pride took control, and to prove that she didn't care, she would act as unladylike as she sought fit just to annoy them. But when the boys got older they stopped playing with her too, she was seens as abnormal and broke the codes of modesty set so deeply in her neighbors' hearts.

Mulan was used to being left out. But she was also used to leaving people out, namely her family. This time away from them let her realize how much they had sacrificed to keep her safe, how much they had to bear because of Mulan's carelessness, and how much they still loved her despite her ungratefulness. Now it was her turn to protect them, and she wouldn't come home with dishonor ever again.

Mulan had a purpose, a reason. She knew what she had to do. And right now, that meant taking a bath. All that redeeming and purpose finding could make a girl work up a sweat.


	5. Chapter 5

Mulan gathered her bathing stuff and headed down towards the lake. Along the way she was slowed by soldiers who offered her drinks or stopped her just to ruffle her hair or punch her affectionately- but not TOO affectionately. She laughed silently (another action she had to learn to uphold her facade of a mute). Somehow she had gone from the scapegoat of the group to the beloved little brother.

Ling yelled for her to come over to where he was, but she didn't hear him and continued her mission of hygiene.

"Maybe we should set things right with the little freak…" Yao guiltily relayed to Chien Po and Ling. Ever since Mulan didn't laugh when Captain Li humiliated him, Yao had wanted to reconcile with Ping. But (s)he was just so awful at training that he couldn't bring himself to befriend the misfit under fear of being bullied by association. Also, Ping had refused to admit that he could talk, but more importantly that he had insulted Yao on the first day. Plus, during training Yao had nearly drowned because of the young soldier's clumsiness.

Now that things were different, he was ready to buddy up with Ping (and make him take back calling him chicken boy and a limp noodle). So the three barreled down to the lake ready for some male bonding time.

…

At the moment Mushu and Mulan were debating the significance of being clean. "Look, just cause I have to look like a man doesn't make I have to smell- AHH!"

"WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG? WHO HURT MY BABY WARRIOR CHILD?"

"Mushuuuu," Mulan groaned.

"OH NO! WHAT? WHAT IS IT THAT I CAN HELP YOU WITH IN THESE FINAL MOMENTS? I just never imagined you'd go out like this, I always thought your secret would be revealed or that the ancestors would strike you down, or…"

"The water feels sooo good!"

Mushu felt his draw drop. "What're making those sounds for! You could seriously worry someone who worries about things like your well being and all."

Mulan wasn't listening. She was too busy trying to convey the range of relief that the cool water provided to her aching muscles. "Take me now ancestors," she sighed contentedly.

"Stop that! You never know, one of them might just follow you up on that, you little cross dressing-"

"Seriously," the girl continued. "Even if I drowned, or if the Huns kill me, or if they find out my secret, I feel like it would be okay because it literally can not get better than this."

"I'm warning you, girl! Quit now before you jinx yourself!"

As if on queue, Ling, Yao, and Chien Po came barreling into the lake. "Ping!" Ling shouted. Before she could escape, the three eccentrics had her surrounded. "Listen, I know we were jerks to you before so let's start over. I'm Ling" he said extending his arm. Mulan shook it tentatively and crossed her chest with her other arm, then backed into Chien Po who also reintroduced himself.

"And I'm Yao, King of the Rock." announced a voice. "And there's nothing you _girls_ can do about it!" Mulan looked up, only to avert her gaze as she was treated to a sight that she wouldn't have wished upon her worst enemy. Hairy is scary.

"Oh yeah! Well I bet Ping and I could take you!"

Mulan had no way to explain her way out of this, and she knew she couldn't possibly get on that rock. Luckily for the nude female, it was precisely for these types of situations (well, maybe not this exact situation…), that guardians were enforced in the Fa family. So, as Mulan was reprimanded for casually backing away from a challenge to her (non-existent) manhood, Mushu came to the rescue.

"Ping! We HAVE to fight! Don't be such a- OW! SOMETHING BIT ME!" Ling screeched in a fashion that more or less undermined his speech on male bravado mere seconds before.

Presently, the alarm "SNAKE!" was raised. Ling and Chin Po bolted to Yao's Rock Kingdom. The naked cross dresser made a mad dash for her horse and towel. Mushu began brushing his teeth (and didn't stop), and drawing up an alphabetical list of rewards that the ancestors must bestow upon him. And the Hun spying on the emperor's army caught his first glance of Mulan.


	6. Chapter 6

A large man galloped towards the Hun army, shaggy black hair swinging behind him. Ti-Yun had been riding all day, but the urgency of this news kept him from resting before reporting. When he reached the horde of warriors, Shan Yu rode out to greet him.

"You're late. We had to visit the villages in the Tung Show Pass without you. It really killed the mood" Shan Yu said smirking.

Ti-Yun was a closed book, yet somehow Shan Yu could see through his covers and read him. Ti-Yun preferred scouting and spying missions to raiding. He avoided fighting whenever he could. Among the Mongols, this was not a point of pride. Their entire nomadic lifestyle was dependant on conquering. Disliking killing was like disliking breathing. Shan Yu always tried to use this "weakness" to provoke him.

Ti-Yun ignored the gibe.

"They're coming."

The Hun leader reverted into serious mode and began barking out questions. "How far? How many? Who's leading them?"

In front of the enemy, Shan Yu projected menacing confidence, but among his own, the chief was more realistic. He had completely destroyed General Li's army, but suffered many casualties in the process. Facing another army of that degree would not be an easy victory.

"They just passed through the village you destroyed. The army is 250 strong. Captain Li Shang is leading the campaign. The men were drafted peasants, but have had several weeks of vigorous training."

Watching Shan Yu's face during this explanation was like watching a light bulb flicker on and off. He brightened at the small size of the army, dimmed at the mention of Shang, the son of the general he had just murdered, and brightened again at the condition of the soldiers. Fighting them might not even result in any deaths (on his side).

Shan Yu sped off to prepare for the battle, missing the grimace plastered on Ti-Yun's face. For once, the informant was disgusted with his position. He felt as though he'd stabbed his grandmother in the back. The naked girl flashed through his mind.

He'd kept tabs on that camp for weeks; she was always the center of attention. The girl really sucked at being a soldier and seemed to possess the talent of being able screw anything up. But she'd kept trying.

Then one day, the amusing underdog story that kept Ti-Yun entertained over the last couple of weeks had a dramatic plot twist: he'd found out that she was a she. He also found that he couldn't stop thinking about the crossdressing soldier ever since.

…

Mulan felt herself moving towards Shang. He seemed to be in shock as he stared at his father's helmet. The village had been decimated.

She wanted to tell Shang that she was sorry, but she needed to keep silent lest her voice reveal her gender. Mulan gave up her life as a woman to save her father. She was terrified she'd lose him, and now Shang was experiencing her greatest fear.

Mulan laid a hand on his shoulder. This seemed to pull him from his stupor. He looked at her, emotions a mix between guilt and sorrow. Shang turned away and mounted his horse.

"The Huns are moving quickly. We'll make better time to the Imperial City through the Tung Show pass. We're the only hope for the Emperor now. Move out!"

* * *

_Shoutout to Lola for helping me come up with a Hun name. Thanks, girl!_

_Sorry this chapter doesn't have a lot of action; I'm planning on doing more next chapter. _


	7. Chapter 7

His father had just died, and what Captain Shang been doing? He had been eavesdropping on Ping- or rather those talking to Ping. The little soldier's friends were mercilessly teasing him about women. They had been going back and forth, each describing their ideal "girl worth fighting for" until someone noticed Ping's discomfort with the subject at hand. This led to camp wide speculation about the boy's interactions with girls in his home village. Ping didn't help matters by shying away from the women they passed on their march.

Shang had been feeling jealous. Only HE had the right to cause the little soldier discomfort. Ping was his.

And then guilt. They came across the destroyed village and battlefield. His father died fighting for their country, and Shang had been focused on Ping.

And now? Now the source of this inner turmoil stood stock still, paralyzed by fear. Smoke billowed out of the wagon behind Ping. Rage filled the captain.

"What happened? You just gave away our position! Now we're-"

An arrow buried itself into his shoulder.

…

"GET OUT OF RANGE!" Captain Shang bellowed.

Arrows rained from the sky as Mulan and the other soldiers rushed to obey. _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! _This was her fault. She should have never left A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON with all the cannons. Mushu was still pointing at the cricket beside him, like that would solve the alerted-Hun-army-issue.

Mulan's blame game was cut short by the flaming arrow whistling towards her wagon.

"SAVE THE CANNONS!"

"So demanding!" Mushu quipped before ducking inside the cart to evade to rest of the blazing volley.

The Chinese soldiers formed a sloppy brigade, grabbing handfuls of the cannons from the wagon and then shoving them into the hands of the next man down the line. The effort was ditched after a grand total of 17 seconds. While the men saved the weapons, Mulan cut Khan's ties, vaulted onto him, and raced from the now exploding vehicle.

She was thrown from her mount into the snow and was soon followed by a singed looking Mushu.

"Oh sure, save the horse," the he griped.

Mulan snatched up her guardian and sprinted towards the rocky bluff where the rest of

China's Imperial Army had fled.

"FIRE!" Shang yelled.

More cannons exploded, thankfully at the enemy this time. Mulan slipped into position.

"FIRE!"

Another round of cannons flew through the air and exploded on the mountain.

"Hold the last cannon," Shang ordered.

Smoke swirled in the distance. Mulan smelled gunpowder. For a moment, it was completely silent. And then, the air cleared just enough to reveal a lone rider. And then another two. And soon the entire Hun army began to trickle down the slope, their warcry growing louder by the second. As they charged, Captain Shang attempted to rally his men for their first and last battle.

"Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor."

Die with honor. Mulan smiled at the irony as she drew her sword. It was a fair trade when she thought about it. Her life had brought dishonor upon the Fa family; it was only fitting that her death could restore the reputation.

And Mulan would have fought to her poetically just death- had she not glimpsed in the reflection of her sword. She didn't look at her own reflection (she was over the whole identity crisis phase), she looked at the glacial overhang placed conveniently over the impending army.

Die with honor? Why not go all out then? Mulan snatched the (last) cannon from Yao. Ignoring the panicked shouts of her commander, she raced towards the charging legion stopping a couple hundred feet from the leading rider.

Mulan fumbled with the match.

300 hundred feet.

"Okay, you might wanna light that right about now! Quickly, quickly!" Mushu nagged in her ear. And then Shan Yu's hawk attacked her.

200 feet.

She couldn't find the matches.

100 feet.

They were lost in the snow.

80 feet.

Where?

60 feet.

The gears in Mulan's mind sped as she looked frantically around her.

40 feet.

Mushu.

20 feet.

Mulan looked up.

…

This was not part of the plan. Ti-Yun had a plan. He thought it out as they marched for battle. Get to to front lines, snatch the little crossdresser, and get out. Then her wagon exploded. This somehow led to her firing a rocket at Shan Yu from three feet away… and missing. Ti-Yun winced inwardly for her. That is, until he turned around and saw the avalanche.


	8. Chapter 8

"Well that went well."

Mulan sighed. She thought back to what had just happened and still couldn't understand how everything had fallen apart in three minutes.

_Shang had deserted her. He had stormed out without saying a word. Chi Fu stayed. At least he didn't ignore her. Mulan immediately withdrew this consolation as he wrenched her arm and dragged her outside. _

"_I knew there was something wrong with you," he accused. _

_Mulan hurt. Why did she hurt so much? She had woken up in the tent after she saved her commanding officer in the battle. Something must have went wrong because she was all bandaged- and not in the usual spot. Mulan was too weak to fight back against Chi Fu as he threw into the snow and humiliated her. _

"_A woman!" he crowed. _

_The men gaped._

"_Treacherous snake," Chi Fu spat. _

_Mulan covered herself. Honor. She would finish with honor. Honor and an explanation. _

"_My name is Mulan," she said to the men, and then to Shang, "I did it to save my father."_

_Just because she decided to be honorable didn't mean that she wouldn't try and play the father card with him. There might still be a chance for her to live. _

_But Chi Fu's shrill voice cut through her defenses like a knife. _

"_High treason!"_

"_I didn't mean for it to go this far."_

"_Ultimate dishonor!"_

"_It was the only way. Please believe me."_

_Shang's back still faced her. _

_Chi Fu smirked. "Well Captain?"_

…

_They were like two angels, Mulan and Chi Fu. The kind that sat on your shoulder and offered contradictory advice. Mulan was the pure one; he could almost picture her in a halo and white dress while Chi Fu was the fallen one clutching a red pitchfork, urging him to do wrong. _

_He should kill her. He must kill her. The law required that he kill her. But he couldn't. So he did the next best thing. Shang dishonored her. _

...

"I should have never left home."

Mushu made a sound of disapproval. "Come on, you wanted to save your father's life. Who knew you'd end up shaming him, disgracing your ancestors, and losing all your friends. You know, you just gotta," he stopped to sniffle before choking out, "you gotta learn to let these things go."

How could she? Everything was just so mixed up that Mulan was starting to question everything- particularly herself. "Maybe I didn't go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right. So when I looked in the mirror I'd see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing." Mulan wrapped Khan's blanket more tightly around herself and felt a tear slip down her cheek.

It was Mushu's turn to sigh. "The truth is we're both frauds. Your ancestors never sent me, they don't even like me. I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions."

Mulan smiled and for a moment, things didn't seem so bad. They had each other, and even though Mulan's father and Mushu's bosses would be furious, they wouldn't be alone.

And then the moment of comfort was shattered when Mulan felt a cold bite on her neck. Shan Yu held a blade against her skin with a deranged grin.

"Are you going to kill me?" Mulan asked dully. Frankly, her life had been put into jeopardy too many times that day for her to get worked up about something as mundane as death.

Shan Yu laughed. It was sudden and sounded more like barking then his usual menacing chuckle. Mulan had actually caught him off guard.

"No." Shan Yu recovered from his outburst and repeated, "No. Death would be over all too soon. Not _worthy_ for someone like you."


	9. Chapter 9

Mushu jumped at Shan Yu's voice. When had he snuck up on them? The little dragon had been so wrapped up in the moment that he hadn't heard the stealthy Hun approach… or seen the seven foot man… no matter! The Fa family's (sort of) guardian would save the day!

"AWWW NAW! NO ONE TOUCHES MY BABY-CHILD! YOU SIR, HAVE AWOKEN THE-"

Shan Yu kicked the reptile into a mound of snow, knocking it unconscious.

"Mushu!" screamed Mulan.

Khan whinnied indignantly and jumped to his feet. He began to charge Shan Yu, but his legs buckled beneath him. An arrow had lodged itself in his throat. Khan eye's widened and he let out a strangled scream. He thrashed in pain and white foam spewed from his mouth.

"Stop! Please stop!"

"You heard her. Make it stop."

Another arrow was fired, this time in a steep arch. Mulan watched in horror as it fell. Her horse's cries were cut short as the arrow pierced his eye and partially reemerged through his cheek on the opposite side. For a second Khan was still. Then he slumped into the ground.

...

Ti-Yun had lost Mulan in the snow. He'd lost himself too. The large man had found that he was tightly packed. And the air was funny; besides being bitingly cold, it seemed as though he couldn't inhale completely without deep concentration.

After what felt like hours of clawing at the frozen chunks that encased him, Ti-Yun's head burst through the powdery prison and he gulped in the fresh air. He began pulling himself up and crawling out of the Ti-Yun Shaped hole. The result was a dangling, flailing mess.

When his upper body lay free on the snow bank, a scream rang out, echoing across the mountain. Ti-Yun stopped struggling to listen. It was a woman's cry. It was his woman's cry. He wiggled the rest of his body out and rolled to the side. Ti-Yun scrambled to his feet and ran towards the sound.

Various tortures ran through Ti-Yun's mind. The Huns were brutal. Firstly, he thought, they would rape her multiple times. Once her pride was effectively broken, other methods would be employed to extrapolate the desired reaction of agony. If Shan Yu was in a generous mood; he may tie her to the back of his horse and see how long the girl could keep up with his galloping mount before her inevitable collapse. Once he grew bored of mutilating her, he may have her killed by slow slicing, death by a million cuts.

Ti-Yun ran faster.

…

Mulan stared at the two Huns beating the crap out of each other. The one winning, her guardian angel for the time being, had burst through the trees and tackled the other, an attempted rapist. He was more attempted. Mulan didn't make it through weeks of training in China's Imperial Army without learning to defend herself.

"Shan Yu will hear of this" hissed the man who was losing.

"I'll just have to try and delay the news then," her rescuer said. Then he cracked the other man's skull. For a moment he stared at the blood. Then he stared at her dazedly. She stared back.

"Shit."

Mulan nodded in agreement. This seemed to snap the man out of his stupor.

"We have to go now," he said, roughly pulling her arm.

"No! Not without Mushu!"

"What's a Mushu?"

"He's this… well… uh… He's my friend, okay!?"

"We don't have time. We have to leave now- while there's still a chance."

"Please." Mulan looked into the man's eyes. "I need him."

The man started to say something, faltered, and groaned.

"Fine."

…

Ti-Yun watched the girl in front of him paw through the snow for the body of her friend. Her male friend. He cursed her eyes- those stupid pleading eyes that stopped him in his tracks. If this Mushu was dead, those eyes would cry. The thought unsettled him. If he was alive though… who was this guy to her anyways? This thought unsettled Ti-Yun even more.

"Got him!"

In her arms, she cradled a red lizard. The Hun did a double take. He felt a totally inappropriate and not at all relieved smile creep onto his face. So this was Mushu. Ti-Yun could deal.

"Do you have a horse?"

Right. Back to business.

Ti-Yun shook his head. "Avalanche."

The girl bit her lip. At first he thought she was holding back tears, but then he realized that she was thinking.

"That man you killed… why?"

Ti-Yun said nothing.

"Can I assume that you're on my side for whatever reason?"

His head shot up and he looked her in the eye.

"Yes."

"Who are you? Why would you help me?"

There were those eyes again. He had to think about it for a moment.

"This," he said gesturing to the dead rapist, "was the last straw. I'm tired. I do not want to be a part of it anymore. I was a spy. Now I am just Ti-Yun."

She nodded slowly.

"I used to be a soldier. Now I am just Fa Mulan. But I still want to be a part of this war."

Ti-Yun stayed silent.

"I understand that you won't help them anymore, but please," she begged, "help me."

Stupid eyes. Ti-Yun found himself nodding.

Mulan was looking at him, but she wasn't seeing him. She was assessing the situation.

"How well can you act?"

* * *

_I know it might seem weird for Mulan to accept Ti-Yun even though they just met, but I've always felt like she just rolls with whatever comes her way and uses it to her advantage. _


	10. Chapter 10

"What?"

"Think about it- they don't know yet! Just act natural. Say you're borrowing it… you know them. You're one of them."

"Yeah! Since you're betraying your own people, I say why not go all in?"

"Mushu! Not helping!"

Ti-Yun glanced down at the two inciters skeptically. Shan Yu would know. Shan Yu always knew when something was up.

Mulan tried to grin persuasively. She needed this man. He had something she didn't- connections. Sure he'd sort of deserted and gone pacifist, but… pshh details. They would work themselves out. What the Huns didn't know wouldn't hurt them; Mulan would.

Her Hun-chum wasn't biting. Mulan tried a different approach: attack on man-pride.

"Well do you have any better ideas? If you're too much of a… a…." Mulan struggled to come up with an insult. This was normally Mushu's forte. "girl!"

Inwardly, Mulan curled up into a little ball of shame. All profanities she had ever learned, and she chose to quote Yao and degrade her gender. But no matter! It seemed to do the trick.

…

Ten minutes later, Ti-Yun strolled into the Hun camp trying to act casual. He was thirty-five feet from the horses. A bead of sweat trickled down his face. Thirty. He passed two Mongol soldiers around a fire. Neither acknowledged his presence. Twenty-five. Someone called him over. Ti-Yun waved, but kept walking.

He could do this. Twenty feet to go. Then ten. Five. He reached out his hand to the horses, but someone grabbed his shoulder. Ti-Yun nearly jumped out of his skin and gasped harshly.

His offender, Shan Yu, chortled abusively.

Ti-Yun scowled.

Shan Yu grinned in response. Then corners of his mouth fell.

"You look nervous."

Ti-Yun gulped. He knew.

…

It had been almost half an hour. Ti-Yun still hadn't returned. It was time for some intervention on Mulan's part.

She crept around to the edge of the Hun's camp. There really was no need to be covert; the attention of the entire camp was focused elsewhere.

The horses! Mulan slipped towards them. She untied a dark brown steed and swung herself overtop. This was her chance to go.

"Mulan!" Mushu hissed.

The girl in interest turned to face her guardian. He pointed at a Ti-Yun who was tied up. Shan Yu was standing a bit too close for comfort, trailing a dagger along the deserter's face.

Mulan didn't think, she just charged.


End file.
